ron swanson quotes work

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An aspiring media professional, Srija is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Mass Communication at St. Xavier's University, Kolkata, after completing her degree in journalism. One drink? Your privacy is important to us. Have you considered cutting the entire fire department? Please consult your doctor before taking any action. That way lies madness. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ", "Fishing relaxes me. Is 'Star Wars' the one with the wizard boy?, 22. The writing in Parks and Recreation is so brilliant because not only is it hilariously witty, but it perfectly encapsulates the characters Ron Swanson is no exception. Child labor laws are ruining this country., 67. I think that all government is a waster of taxpayer money. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Passing the Buck. But the worst one by far is how thoughtful she can be., 36. Added . Ron: Come on Leslie, you know I'm not sexist. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American., 81. Invest your time now for less lawn work later. ", "You choose a thankless job. 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners Waitwait. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. "There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger." 3. (1,097) $14.40. Id work all night, if it meant nothing got done., [On art] Its pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it., America: The only country that matters. Its art. Anyway, please do not misinterpret the fact that I am talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. Breakfast food can serve many purposes., 77. 17 of Ken Dodds most ingeniously funny jokes We've rounded up Leslie's gruff mentor's funniest and wisest moments. 8. This suits Ron perfectly, with his disdain for large government, but more than simply not working, he enjoys disrupting larger systems of bureaucracy, and whenever a chance to do so comes along, he's eager to take it. 72. xhr.open('POST', 'https://www.google-analytics.com/collect', true); I call this turf n turf. Do you understand? Ron's actions and beliefs in Parks and Rec follow a strict code of his own making, and while to some thismay seem a harsh way to live, it suits Ron's desires perfectly. NBC 3. ", *On his sexual history* "Epic. Tom is exactly what Im looking for in a government employee., 70. End of speech. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food., 32. If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition., 31. Ron Swanson government quotes that show his dismay for the government! Wait wait. Waitwait. ", *Playing a hunting video game* "I hope you've made peace with your god, small electronic deer. These folks would never. That folder, in my hands, is far deadlier than this bow in yours. In fact, some of the show's most memorable quotes come from his ideas. I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible., 86. What I said was, 'Give me all the bacon and eggs you have.' 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland from Scotland. [Describing his allergies] Cowardice and Weak Willed Men and Hazelnuts, 82. While Ron has far more close connections at the end of Parks and Rec than he did at the show's outset, manyaspects of his personality remain unchanged, one of which is his need for solitude and privacy. The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. Which is water that is lying about being milk., 2. if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { ", "If any of you need anything at all, too bad. The songs just play one after the other. "Fish, for sport only, not for meat. In essence,Ron dismisses anything he deems fanciful or irrational, and proves thathe lives his life focused on the tangible rather than the abstract. 25 Ron Swanson Quotes for Living Life With More Integrity Id wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures., 3. He says this to Chris Traeger, whose own management style focuses on the positive, and when the pair put their respective methods to the test, a stalemate shows both have their pros and cons. Try not to hurt anyone who doesnt deserve it., 56. We can't have raccoons for the Christmas thing. 30 of Michael McIntyres best jokes and funniest one-liners Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults. daily newsletter. Encapsulate the spirit of melancholy. This article contains incorrect information, This article doesnt have the information Im looking for, 110 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From 'Parks And Recreation', Short Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks And Rec, 41 Quotes From Frankenstein For Your Gothic Literature Studies, 32 Richard Siken Quotes From The Inspiring 'Crush' Poet, 30 The Purpose Driven Life Quotes From The Famous Bible Study, 70 Best Salon Quotes And Sayings To Leave You Feeling Beautiful. ", *Listening to turkey calls* "Is this not rap? ", "Please do not misinterpret the fact that I'm talking right now as genuine interest in art and attempt to discuss it with me further. I've heavily invested in gold which I've buried in several different locations around Pawnee. Soon, one of you will be ridiculed mercilessly. 130 Ron Swanson Quotes That Will Change the Way You View Life Ron is definitely not a boss who encourageshis employeestowork harder, but that doesn't mean he's ignorant of the ways in which companies, organizations, and other leadersgo about motivating people. This sawed-off shotgun belonged to a local bootlegger. One of TV's best platonic duos, Ron and Leslie have some of the most interesting conversations of Parks and Rec, whether they're getting along or disagreeing, and though they are significantly different people, they support one another's ambitions and understand each other's quirks. Ron Swanson - Wikipedia 50 football jokes to make you laugh or groan 105+ Ron Swanson Quotes That Will Knock Your Mustache Off - Scary Mommy America: The only country that matters. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. RELATED: 10 Secondary Parks And Rec Characters Who Stole The Show. Impossible. 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes Some sitcom characters are just a lot wiser than others. 30 of Romesh Ranganathans funniest jokes and quotes I got this., 79. I prefer quality over flash thats why I refuse to write my signature in cursive., 100. Live your life how you want, but dont confuse drama with happiness., 101. Round up whoever's free. Ron Swanson , Parks and Recreation 03x11: Jerry's Painting I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible. 20 of The Young Ones most gloriously silly quotes, Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedians funniest jokes and quotes The only reason anyone is going to this thing is because theyre afraid of what Marlene will do to them if they dont. 45 of Ricky Gervais funniest jokes Under my tutelage you will grow from boys to men, from men into gladiators, from gladiators into Swansons., 107. On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time., 15. I prefer quality over flash, that's why I refuse to write my signature in cursive.. Ron: You have your same hair.. What I said was: give me all the bacon and eggs you have. I work for the government., 90. Thats ridiculous., 47. Parks and Recreation: 10 Funniest Ron Quotes - Screen Rant Ron is an anti-social and very private person and does not enjoy being in crowds, going as far as completely ignoring his meetings with his peers. All rights reserved. "I'm more of a whiskey man." Ann: "How many drinks of alcohol do you consume a week? Debbie Reynolds said they were more than friends. 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier You're looking very Ron-like. He's a grown man. My second ex-wifes name is Tammy. Well, I am not usually one for speeches. Also, whiskey and a cigar. "If any of you need anything at all, too bad." This is a quote that Ron Swanson made to warn his subordinates that he doesn't like to be asked for advice. If not writing, she's probably reading or baking something fantastic. Computers are mostly pointless, but that Yelp thing gave me a great idea on how to criticize people in places., 51. 27. Only idiots recommend that., 100. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Added: January 13, 2015 Ron: Hello Knope. Anything is anything., 89. One rage every three months is permitted. As somebody that alarmingly started work at the age of nine and never stopped, Ron's viewon the concept of luck isboth understandable and funny. 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips 110 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From 'Parks And Recreation' - Kidadl He loves his country, not doing much and breakfast foods (did we mention that? America: The only country that matters. Don't teach a man to fish.and feed yourself. RELATED: 10 Hilariously Inappropriate Ron & Tammy II Moments In Parks & Rec. 3. Not a mere cynic, Ron could be very caring when it came to those closest tohim, even if that care was often delivered withhis trademark deadpan. Sting like a bee. We still never talk sometimes. But as long as I sit still and dont move my head or torso, Im good. Its no secret that Ron Ulysses Swanson is an oddity. Fishing relaxes me. Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie., 96. You could also check out quotes about Ron Swanson. A breakfast aficionado, woodworking savant, avid fisherman, and secret jazz saxophonist, Ron has lived a full life. NEXT:7 Best Improvised Moments In Parks And Recreation. Ron Swanson , Parks and Recreation 03x01: Go Big or Go Home As the father figure to many on Parks and Recreation, Ron Swanson is the go-to for sarcastic comments, unwavering beliefs, and even expert advice. Boom, sad wall. Just when you thought you couldnt laugh any harder, he always came through with his deadpan weirdness. Breakfast food can serve many purposes., 21. [After being asked if he wants a salad] Since I am not a rabbit, no I do not. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life., 82. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy., 49. For a character who isn't always open about how he's feeling, Ron's offhanded comments often reveal much more about him than they first appear to, whether he's discussing workplace friendships, the key to being a Swanson, or his favorite foods. Be ice cream or be nothing. I do not lie. Hire Very Good Building Company for your construction needs. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. Ron Swanson Quotes Kit. Godspeed., 77. On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time., 54. Offerman provided creative input, and aspects of his own personality . Although ignoring luck maypreventhimfrom seeing how somepeople succeed, it does mean that Ron takes other's achievements as only the product of their own hard work. 21 of Rhod Gilberts funniest jokes and one-liners Capitalism: Gods way of determining who is smart and who is poor., 26. 55 Best Ron Swanson Quotes from Parks and Rec - Parade Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?, 13. Ron: Literally, everything is a weapon. 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes There are three acceptable haircuts: high and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. 9. Im Ron Fucking Swanson., 24. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. I feel I should remind you that I do not believe that the position or the entire government should exist., 91. ", "America: The only country that matters. He loves bacon, hunting, woodworking, and hates the government and happy people. Government is inefficient and should be dissolved., 95. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something., 70. And fishings not that hard., 48. The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. At the same time, though, he notes that striving for anything past one-hundred percent is futile, a funny commentary on both the limitations of an individual and an oft-used statement of hyperbole. Valentines poems: 32 most romantic quotes from historys greatest poets ", *On eating salad* "You've accidentally given me the food that my food eats. Heres April and Andys: A hammer, a half-eaten pretzel, a baseball card, some cartridge that says Sonic and Hedgehog, a scissor half, a flashlight filled with jellybeans., 58.My first ex-wifes name is Tammy. If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio., Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Here are 150 Ron Swanson quotes that are funny and entertaining for all of us from the best comedic Ron ever. "Literally everything is a weapon, son. You can't hack into a typewriter. 25 of Rik Mayalls greatest quotes Best friend I ever had. I was going to ask you for a job. Best friend I ever had. The character was created by Michael Schur and Greg Daniels with inspiration from a real-life Libertarian elected official. The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol from a safe distance. } Boom, a sad desk. A schlemiel is the guy who spills soup at a fancy party. Which is water that's lying about being milk." 2. Ben: I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have a weapon at work. Deal with your problems yourselves, like adults., The government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayers teat until they have sore, chapped nipples., I dont want to paint with a broad brush here, but every single contractor in the world is a miserable, incompetent thief., Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. In the federal government - even saying it feels dirty.. Its a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Haircuts, there are three acceptable haircuts: High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut., 21. Only idiots recommend that., 44. We will get along just fine, though hopefully not too fine, because I am not looking for any new friends. Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. Not only does this moment bring upthe pair'sconnection over a mutual love of breakfast food, but it also acts as a reminder that Ron tends to fix things with his friends by sharing the little rituals that are important to him. Relatable Parks and Rec Quotes About Work. Although Ron doesn't put much effort into his job in the Parks department, he doesn't shy away from effort in general, as proved by his often labor-intensive hobbies. ", "You've fallen into a classic trap, Christopher: trying to fix a woman's problems instead of just listening to what they are. Having punched Councilman Jamm on the night of Leslie and Ben's wedding, the season5 episode "Partridge" sees Ron being sued for the deed. Diane Lewis: Am I interrupting something important? Plus, it shows (not for the first time) that for Ron, any situation benefits from bacon and eggs. 1. ", *On England* "Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords are a frail old woman and a tiny baby. Your house isn't haunted. Thats ridiculous., 62. They'll hunt the kids for sport., 9. It doesn't matter what job you have; Ron Swanson has something to say about it. It's one that I definitely hold close to my heart. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American., 31. Barbecues should be about one thing: good shared meat., 85. , 27. ", *His entire will* "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me. No hook, no spin, no fuss. Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards., 52. That's all I have to say., 5. Funny Ron Swanson Quotes To Live By (Meat, Love, Woodworking) The Wisdom of Ron Swanson in the Business World - OnBioVC If any of you need anything at all, too bad. I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for ten hours., 41. Ron: "Only when I'm losing. Ron: "One" Ann: "That's it? At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. That key's been useless since the 2nd Tuesday I gave it to you., 13. Ron Swanson's Wisdom #3: "Normally, if given the choice between doing something and nothing, I'd choose to do nothing. "I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a . 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes You're lonely., 107. Quotes to get inspired and motivated from. Whole-ass one thing., 17. Its like yoga, except I still get to kill something., 28. Is Star Wars the one with the wizard boy?, 98. 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners That's ridiculous. Just let business be business and government be government., 93. Srija's interests include devouring books, watching movies, and exploring new places through travel.

. - Ron Swanson. Therefore, I do not joke., 56. Whereprojectsthat Ron considers worthwhile work are concerned, he advocates for people giving it their all. You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"? It's like yoga, except I still get to kill something The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. The head of the Parks & Rec department, Ron Swanson has plenty of wisdom to share when it comes to life, work, food, and friendship. 35 of Blackadders most cunning quips and insults If you want to experience other cultures, use an atlas or a ham radio., 20. NBC 2. "Next thing you want to do is ditch the terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Who knows, you may find the mantra you need for your life right now. That's all there is; there isn't anymore. Ethel Barrymore, There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Even as Rondistances himself from those he deems unworthy of his time, he reveals more about his priorities, and when April learns ofthis quote's methodand immediately uses it against him, Ron's expression can't maskhis approval. I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible., 15. In business, some of us are fortunate enough to have bosses who are happy to give us advice on how to proceed. Although Ron doesn't shy away from expressing his frustrations, he doesn't allow such shows of emotionto become too frequent, as noted on the famed Swanson Pyramid of Greatness in "Go Big or Go Home," as he teaches a boy's basketball team his guide to success.

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