boyfriend left me to find himself

I loved him dearly and I still do, I had resentment built up because he didnt always treat me the best. He is not the problem; I am. Well, a year and a half ago he announced he needed a separation for 30-days and walked out on us in the middle of the night. No one is perfect, but Its not you. She moved out without telling me on Valentines day when I was at work. My names James, Im 25. I am very close to his family especially his mum and he has said hes very unhappy his mum remains close to my daughter and i. We have two girls 5 and 8. At the same time, sometimes it is better to know the truth. She saw no reason to be together and attempted no solution to work it out. She sounds like shes crazy now. I have had to completely restart from scratch without anything and I think I would have to suffer this a thousand times again rather than live like that ever again. It really hurts. Please. Be careful, maybe hire a lawyer before you get your settlement. 6 months ago my wife of 6 years been together now going on 9 years looks over at me and says she doesnt know if she wants to be married anymore. I still believe I was doing the right thing, but for the wrong person. They are the only thing that matters now and the better the life you make for them the quicker you will heal. What about when he abandons you because you wont be his beard anymore? So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it . My partner of 11yrs has just done the exact same thing to me. My wife had insisted on getting a new house before we were ready. and yes even now he is with his lover and left me in another state by myself. Hopefully my therapy along with meds will help me survive this horrible time of my life. I dont think I will ever be able to trust again, I wonder everyday why I even want to remain on this earth if there is so much evil here. So it is tough to swallow. Cleaned up cooked her and the kids dinner and then put them to bed. She never wanted to make it more difficult then it already was for her children. He would always say. Its an interesting perspective because I dont feel like I did anything, but if you asked my husband he would say that my lack of emotion towards him and response when he says he tried to reach out to me, time and time again, is the reason that he left. "A man's work ethic is a reflection of his character," says Jennine Estes, M.F.T and author of Relationships In The Raw. She has also began lying, eg i found out she was seeing a counsellor, she said they were actually friends, but I have seen she has been paying her fees on her bank statements. He started changing as soon as he graduated. When I approached her she didnt deny it. . We are both 60, we have a son of 23 and a daughter of 20 about to go to uni. Constantly points out my flaws and still shows no remorse at all for the horrific things she has done to our family. My husbands sister just got served with divorce papers today I stopped for a quart of ice cream on my way home from work today, ugh. Im going to my parents for thanksgiving, but have a rocky relationship with them as it is, so this should be fun. $('.back').click(function() { } How you feel right now will not be the same as how you feel a month from now. She then admitted to a 7 month emotional affair with this guy at work. The effects of both of those events, coupled to an unloved / loving home run by a dictator and supported by my mothers passiveness, my sexuality was warped and I became very adept at being alone. There are always ways and things to try other than giving up. Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. Unfortunately these pieces need to meet the reader where he or she is, so there will definitely be different perspectives based on the context of each individuals situation. (my #6 lumbar vertebra was staved in caused, by the way, by a beating by another sweet s**) Finally, this reached a crisis, as I was actually dying from the pain (didnt know that could happen, until it happened to me). CassieD Im in Pennsylvania. I must be strong. OMG just more Internet divorce encouragement. Any problem she has she phones the bloke she left me for is a condescending arse this was not the first affair ive since found out there have been 4 in the last ten years I knew about one and worked hard 6 years ago to forgive and forget . How is it going with the communication now. My wifes response was a complete shock I truly believed she still loved me as much as I have always loved her she was my only love I have never loved anyone else and I never once fell out of love with her and in actuality I was the romantic in our marriage. one big reason for her change,A year ago she quit taking antidepressant meds cold turkey and went through menopause at the same time, and it made her change not just mentally, but physically she totally changed her appearance. Yea, meeting otherpeople may be fun for a little while, but coming home to someone who knows you inside out is un-irreplaceable. Now he stops communicating with anyone that tries to talk him in to reconciliation. This I also discovered. I moved away from my hometown with my son Met the man Im with now and my 7 year old loves him His real daddy recently passed away and so me and my fiance wanted a baby sister for us and him meanwhile he has 4 other kids that he told me the kids couldnt keep him at there house. I met my wife when I was 18 and she was 16. a train when It stops you only have two choices get off and get on another train or stay on and go in reverse. She moved out fast and said I needed time to work on myself as well. Darkest days of my life. This happens slowly and mysteriously until, one day, there are no common interests and someone gets bored and wants to move on. Please know that you are always free to consult with a different therapist if you feel that your current therapist is unable to meet your needs. My divorce is in two weeks. I will not lie to you, this will not be easy, but I can promise YOU WILL feel relief from staying true to yourself. I was unable to get over a relationship Id had, for THIRTY years! Then at the same time, he says if I just shut up and leave him alone, he will just do his own thing and I can do mine. I just cant wrap my brain around it. He is a good man and he does try his best but I can just not find to love him like a lover bit rather as a friend. I lost 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks. I am going through something similar too. She says she is doing this for our marriage. I think thats why Im just waiting for him to call or come back, like he will realize he made a mistake. (Her x comitted suicide when I met her). I am still learning the scope of the damage that was done to me. What Does It Mean When Your Lover Says, "I Need to Find Myself." - PairedLife What Does It Mean When Your Lover Says, "I Need to Find Myself." RedElf Jun 19, 2023 11:34 AM EDT Your partner saying "I need to find myself" can mean a lot of things and this article will help you figure out what it might all mean. Leave it to him to be the one to get in touch with you. They CAN modify with proper treatment and overcome IF they are willing to work their treatment regime. She baits me along telling me she was weak and it was a mistake and it was my fault for leaving her a mess Wait, you kicked me out. I told my wife straight away (within 2 hours) out of guilt and respect. My girlfriend of almost 9 years didnt just have an affair she had and is still in a relationship with a married supervisor from her work instead of telling me that she found someone new or telling his wife and ruining his marriage he convinced her to call the police on me have me arrested for breaking and entering the house through an unlocked backdoor.i didnt find out about this relationship until after I was released from city cells with the conditions of my release being no contact at all with her and I cant go 200 meters near the house I had two visits with my three kids where on the second visit the children told me this man was coming to the house and was there after they went to bed the next day after that visit low and behold I was arrested for child assault(a complete lie of course)and now I cant see or talk to my kids either my lawyer says trial will be into the New Year for sure if I plead not guilty.so when you think you got it bad just remember my life. 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. To date a boss behind ur back smh Thats the lowest a person can go. Found a great new home development where he knew the builder and was talking with the builder about the possibility of a few lots that would become available. She has been exposing her private parts to men online.Right now she is in another state living in a hotel with a guy who is also married and she told me she is having sex with him.he told her he is leaving his wife.I have been hit with so many blows to my heart. I am devastated we have 3 children and one doing his GCSEs I am a mess my daughter keeps questioning me and Im trying to hold it together but Im in so much pain and I cant imagine my life without him Well he landed a job for a few days baby needed 2 cans of formula and diapers He didnt bother buying them. Its very painful its been only 2 months after we live together for over 4 years and we have a 2 years old. Oh gosh Im sorry for your pain. How can we say such things to each other, and then she goes away with him? My ex-husband used me for everything I had and then just left. var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Take care my friend it will get better and thank God you arent 58 like me We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. I just want to know what people think, and if anything would help. Things have been bad for awhile, but it is still hard to accept that it is over. yourself or the other person. When it doesnt hurt anymore and you find your partners actions pathetic . Remember that God doesnt give us more than we can handle-and he must think that you can handle a lot. Different goals, interests and even more suprising is her personality and character. Where was I? He had a bmw car which I later found out was his gfs carI think all his family know her and are aware that he loves her. I explained I couldnt make it and walked away. I dont know if he has fallen for her, if it is a mid life crisis or what. Im so confused and conflicted. and more lately photos on the Internet with him on holiday with a past flirt that came to light on a social net work . Im so pissed now she plays it off again like its all me and the kids beg me to stay (someones gotta give them attention.. Thats to far below her 2hr bath time every night. Thats my situation in a nut shell. Wife is splitting after 10 years. Exercise and stay busy . it was so bad I lost 50 pounds in 8 weeks.I couldnt work,lost all interest and no motivation I couldnt function .the grief and depression was so overwhelming I had to be hospitalized.Im currently getting therapy, and counseling for my grief and depression.but it still does not answer the question, why? She left and went there dad and sister tree planting mothers. I dont know. Didnt know our kids friends girlfriends or boyfriends. Hi my name is Matt. Maybe I hope she leaves him or if I cant have him I think I want his social life ruined. The hole in my chest is so vast. We all are animals forgiveness and love unconditionally, but when you are the only one keeping the commandments it is hard. I just cant believe how active this board appears with people who are going through this. Wishing you the best, Love hurts. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. I must stay strong this time and never speak to her again. I have been with my love for 18 years and married him by church back on 9-10-11, 10 days ago left me for his high school sweetheart. I have found pills over and over hidden in her car before she totaled it . I was devastated. It ended as I couldnt cope with casual and then I had to tell husband because I was so ill. Three months on, I am still totally in love with him. Hurt beyond comprehension that this has been all calculated and the number of lies that had been told to me for I cant even imagine how long. Ive been with my wife over 12 years married over 2. Its so bizarre to go from being very loving and leaving cards and messages and notes about how honored he is to be my partner , to ..we never had it right and Im unhappy and Ive been unhappy for 10 years or our whole life. then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. I will pray for you and just take it one day at a time and get up everyday with a plan He said that he misses his younger self that wasn't burdened with the responsibilities and that he wants to try to find that person again. I took it over as there were 4super large steel trays full of food that would have gone to waste if I left it at home. Authorities said she was arrested on July 10 thanks to a tip that came in after she left town. I believe it is due to her sickness as we were two peas in a pod for the last 19 years. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. Or how about when you know theyre gay, but realize they arent leaving because you are paying the bills while they go to college, work, run the roads and do his thing. I just cant understand. Plus her step mother has been trying to break us up for 10 years. Maybe the breakup was over distance, diverging life plans, a strong disagreement over values, or cheating. I guess theres a lot of money being made in the divorce and recovery business encouraging people like my ex wife to wreck our families. I would do anything for her and she knows this. It's a time to find your "self" again. I am so sorry! It seems odd to me he does this before family outings almost as if he is looking for things and this has me wondering. Part of me want him back because I believed in him and that we could have grown to love each other. I've been hurt before too and I can tell you that. What city and state are you in? Im on a dead end relationship and cant leave because of my kids. Shell be fine, but I will be a mess. She tells me that that even though her and I have a fabulous connection and relationship, she still is lonely for her family. My x married her affair partner within the allowed 60 days of our divorce finalized. She ignored my calls and texts between then. I thought we had a happy life but apparently I did not have a happy wife.she never told me anything, never discussed it or mentioned it. I dont think she will ever know how much I loved her and how loyal I was to her. This is tearing me apart. Was going to deal it away in 3 days if I would sign custody modification. Are you close with his family? But wow now three months of this has gone by and it only gets worse. I have always asked my clients who find themselves married to someone who is mentally ill to focus on how they can avoid choosing another partner with the same issues. Any help and opinions would be gratefully appreciated. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. I still manage to stay positive through it all, that is the most important thing you can do and the best advice I can ever give. it explains all the reasons that Iv ever left a relationship or been dumped (but that only happened once). My world is upside down right now with no end in sight. Thats not because of you, its because of her. I know I must choose what to do because living with this internal struggle is making me sick. We had 2 amazing little girls but right after the second one her first Xmas, 10 days before my wife says shes going to get Advil and doesnt come home. Its so weird! I say the same thing. Then a month later he came home and told me he never loved me and his mind was f$&k#% . I have worked my butt off to be well. I thought to myself what the fk? Whatever, fine by me Ill gladly give up weekends for my kids. Sometimes all it takes is to know someone believes in you to find the strength. My boyfriend left me when I got pregnant, what do I do? - TODAY Stay Focused, Pray, Keep Faith and Believe . She has quit her job and spends the daytime in our house waiting for the kids to finish school and leaves before I get back (leaving the house a tip). That lasted for 6 months and she then moved to her own apartment, the entire time stating that she didnt know what she wanted. $(document).ready(function () { He is selfish and shows no affection for me. I was so glad to finally have someone to love my first and only love that I stopped my destructive behaviours and together we were the quintessential happy young couple we were never great at sex, but for all other aspects of marriage even communication, we were as happy as good be. Ive suspected there is another involved but have no concrete evidence other than intuition & one or two very suspicious epidodes, combined with secrecy from her, as opposed to privacy. Because he worked full time he told me that from Monday to Friday he was unavailable and so I was alone doing it all . The Brown County jury . If you want a divorce its fine. Next thing I know, I was finding that he had taken all my jewelry including gifts he had given me and the pink slip to the vehicle we owned together. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. So I do understand what I am going through and why. I could never disapline them. The right man will respect what you have been through, he will be patient and kind and above most understanding. Well the doctor she was working with was giving her Vicodin, and soma, she also was getting zanax and other pills from doctor. Im guessing she made up some bullcrap to try to justify it because no one is talking to me and yet my daughter and I are the victims of this shitstorm. She told me she had more energy than everyone in her family and felt like she was waisting away. Suffering from Depressing and other sickness as gotten worse for me. Being Abnormally Quick To Anger. We have a beautiful son together. Nothing has meaning. Shes shortsided. Anyway, I told him to just ask his mom to.borrow 20 dollars we just had to make it to that Thursday that waa payday, but he got so mad at me and moved the tv and some of his other things out immediately and told me he was leaving me because he was worth more than I gave him credit for. We signed the papers last week. The neurontin shut it off. My husband left me after 21 years to find his happiness and looking for an emotional connection because we were miles apart. From this list you can click to view our members full profiles and contact the therapists themselves for more information. $('.menu4').click(function() { Im no angel to live with but I always saw us together until the end. Ive loved my partner for 27 years and still do. My partner of 27 years has said hes had enough. You will meet someone who treats you right and then you will forget all about him. When she declared she was leaving to focus on her own happiness I was both frightened and relieved. Very young we started off mid teens. Please open up and share so others can help you. My husband went away on a trip with a friend and came back depressed and unhappy with his life. After 3 weeks of mixed signals, sleeping in the same bed, having sex and her emotional outbursts at the kids, I asked her to leave. Don't believe me? We have been together for 9 no kids (thank God) she was my first love for everything, but things didnt work, and now she say she sees me like a friend I searched out an old girl friend from years back, we met several times for walks and just talked. I understand its a problem, but I can not figure out a way to stop it What Does It Mean When Your Lover Says, "I Need to Find Myself." So sorry for what you are going through. I felt like a criminal. After my heart attack I found out she was talking to an ex boyfriend, having an emotional affair. Go to the gym to tske out your anger, watch movies to get out of your painful world for awhile. We loved like I have never experienced. While our sons are adults we were a close family. Let him go, says Mariella Frostrup,. The most difficult is the roommate or as you noted, sibling-like Relationship. I feel so betrayed, devastated and its really painful to me. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. To make it all worse, I had no idea. It happened only once and was not discovered by anyone. My wife left me in Aug last fall. I am going to visit my parents and I will be back. (The intensive way and extreme degree to which I process information is probably associated with this). Rediscover that now. All Im saying is people leave for reasons a higher power would probably only know and its our duty as humane emotionally broken individuals to get over that obstacle and be happy it happened sooner than later. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. Cant sleep without sleeping pills or wine. I was upset and he kept making fun of me and saying that he just follows the kids and that he is not waiting until the princess is happy. The kids are with her in the parents house. Im sorry but she has a mind of her own and can make her own mind. Fight for yourself, believe in yourself and never ever blame yourself for the ignorance of others. 1. Im not a dumb guy, I swear it. }); Im currently very ill as well, as she knows, and her move last night was in my view, completely cold blooded and merciless. . Hes in his mid 40s and literally has nothing, his mommy and daddy are still paying his way and completly enabling him to behave this way. Acting normal at home. Just worry about yourself. Im fairly sure he had affairs, he cheated a lot before when we were together, lied so much, did drugs and lost his job while I was pregnant. } $('.submenu2').hide(); My ex husband was in the house until the divorce papers dictated his date of departure . article. Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was searching for! My counselor(s), have said he is a sick person. My husband did the same thing to me. Sex left the building and life really took over and the issue of lack of intimacy would come up always from her as to why how come we never have sex anymore and then over more time, and even after attending marriage counselling together it never did get resolved. Does he love her more then me? Im 59 shes 49. She said that our marriage lacked intimacy and passion and are now more like brother and sister, she has no feelings of desire left for me at all she says and Ive spent 9 weeks trying to change her mind, but failed. Privacy Policy. And i did love her very much at the time, thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her as well. A few days ago out of the blue he said he wants to split up. I dont know my wife anymore. I would of course have to impose new rules to our relationship after finding out that shes been deceiving everyone, but I would give her a second chance. I still love him and hate myself for it. We spoke a lot he told me he had met someone else but it meant nothing to him apparently. She has left me 10 to 15 times since we have been together but each time it still hurts the same. Well I went deer hunting with our son and had left her at the house with our daughter which was in 7 th grade at the time. ..I believe my husband has a similar condition. Well one month into my overseas job that was just for 18 monthsshe told me she was leaving me after the financing on the new house fell through. When we met we had both been divorced so we started with the big stuff. When he did come home, often after 9 months abroad, he would turn his back on me in bed . I wanted to make him happy so, i said i would move to where his family lived so, we would have family and we were supposed to have a better life. Carlee Russell made abduction-related internet searches before her How to cope: Work on taking responsibility for your part, forgiving yourself for what you could have done differently, and letting go of how you think it should have been. What to do when he says he needs to find himself - Tiny Buddha A therapist or counselor can often be supportive and helpful. I was with someone for 24 years hard-working man entry bands and we went distance are both ways we were living like roommates after while he left me once it records me to claim bankruptcy then he left me October 22 for married woman he was trying to have a relationship it ended in March hes heartbroken he wrote a nasty letter to me pieces he wants out the relationship hes not love with me but he loves me Im going through psychotherapy Lost a lot of weight and I love him I figured keeping away and not pushing him its okay according to the cycle therapist dont know what to do at this point charge when youre 69 and someone leaves you like this I did everything for him that he became a liar and sneak and a cheater so was told by the clairvoyant dont now well I can do is sit back and told him if you want me to come to the band you call me up its eight months hes gone but only two munchies over that girl now it goes online and he looks for women even looked at my webpage I blocked them I think hes doing this to spite me to show we can look for somebody else all he wants is companion to cook for him do his clothes and clean his house Im never find it all I can do is take a day at a time.

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